How should I decide about Boyfriends and Sex

Most young people begin to have loving or sexual feelings as they get older. Thinking about touching or being touched by someone in a sexual way is not unusual. (Girls may even think about another girl or woman in this way.) But people often have these feelings before they are ready to act on them.

Only have sex when you decide that you are ready and know how to protect yourself from harm. Sex can be enjoyed by both people, but not if there is fear or shame.

Young women have sex for many different reasons. Some do it because they want to have a baby. Others do it because it makes them feel good or wanted. Some women feel they have very little choice because it is their duty as a wife or girlfriend. Some trade sex for money or for other things they need to survive, such as food, or clothes for their children, or a place to live.

Others have sex because they think it will make someone love them more. Sometimes a friend or a boyfriend can make a girl feel that she should have sex when she is not ready.

No one should have sex when she does not want to. Only have sex when you decide you are ready. Sex can be enjoyed by both people, but it is difficult to enjoy something when you feel fear or shame, or have not given consent.

If you are ready for a sexual relationship, always protect yourself against pregnancy and disease.

Sources

• Burns, A. A., Niemann, S., Lovich, R., Maxwell, J., & Shapiro, K. (2014). Where women have no doctor: A health guide for women. Hesperian Foundation.
• Audiopedia ID: en020809